A Graduation of Sorts

34 weeks and 3 days.

These days, I have a standard response when people ask me how I'm doing: "I'm still pregnant!" is what I say. Because really, is there anything more important than that? Oh, to be 34.5 weeks. A true blessing.

At my doctor's appointment this morning, I received what may be my final progesterone injection. I still may get one more, but maybe not. My cervix is still holding steady at a beautiful 1.5cm dilated and 2.5cm long, and everything looks good. My doctor instructed me to very gradually begin to rejoin the world of the living. I am still on a very modified bed rest plan, but I am now supposed to sit upright more often now, and I can even take a shower everyday if I want to (instead of every 2 or 3 days). I should sit at the table to eat now (the table!) instead of laying down. The point is that as I get further along, there is concern that the strict bed rest plan I have been confined to can actually do more harm than good. Blood clots become a serious concern, as does muscle degeneration. I still shouldn't lift Ava, and I still can't care for her all by myself, but at least now I can sit up and actually play with her. I couldn't believe my ears. I can slowly start to reclaim my life. I can go upstairs and sleep in my bed. And for the first time tonight - after over a month - I will climb the stairs and see for the first time our baby's nursery. I am almost giddy with excitement. I just hope seeing the nursery doesn't kick my nesting urge into overdrive. The last thing I need to be doing is rearranging furniture and cleaning out the pantry. God, please give me discipline.

In addition to a less-extreme form of bed rest, I also "graduated" from my perinatologist this morning. Appointments with the specialists are no longer necessary, especially since continued poking and prodding "down there" will do little more than agitate things. Besides, what difference does it make how long my cervix is if they won't do anything to prevent it from changing? Is it possible that I can start feeling like a normal pregnant woman? Wow, now there's a divine concept!

Now, of course, I couldn't let go of one concern without grabbing hold of another. Baby boy is still breech, and we're running out of time for him to turn down on his own. There's still a chance for him to do it on his own, but for the first time today, my doctor mentioned the possibility of a C-section. Oh dear. There are some procedures that can be performed to turn him, but there are as many risks as there are benefits associated with them, and there's no guarantee that they would even be successful. We don't need to make a decision now, but within the next week, if he doesn't turn down, we will need to rethink our birth plan. I am trying not to focus on that right now and simply relish in the moment that I am graduating from bed rest slowly but surely. I swear I can hear "Pomp and Circumstance" being played in the distance.