Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why I Have Decided to Start a Blog

In the past few years, I have attempted to maintain several blogs on various websites. But all blogs have fizzled out over time - and some blogs never even saw daylight. I don't know why I am such a commitment phobe when it comes to this sort of thing. I was never good at keeping a diary, either. I guess I always thought I would be able to remember everything that was important to me - the way Ava looked at me when I first held her in my arms; the way Stefan dances when he is acting goofy to make me laugh; Ava's first steps - without writing a word. But I was wrong. And although I am doing a pretty good job at scrapbooking, sometimes there are little life moments don't require a scrapbook page. They just need a paragraph or two to help me remember why I wanted to freeze that tiny grain of sand in the hourglass. I need to start writing or I will never be able to remember that Ava actually burps her dolls after feeding them their bottles (another post for another day, I suppose).

We are currently in our 23rd week of pregnancy with Ava's little brother, and I have yet to journal a word about it. When I confide this to family and friends, most respond with, "Eh, don't worry about it. You're in the middle of a cross-country move for Pete's sake." I know that. I know that since May our lives have been upended and it has taken until now to feel even the slightest bit settled. But that's no excuse. Twenty-five years down the road this pregnancy will be a total blur and I will hate myself for not writing down how I craved Italian salad dressing, frozen Snickers and those little green salads you get at the Japanese steak houses with the ginger-miso dressing. I will forget how I looked 5 months pregnant before the pee on the test stick dried. I will never remember how I found out I was pregnant the morning of Mother's Day. And I will forget how I felt the baby move inside me for the first time at a mere 16 weeks. And even though I have botched up the little-miss-perfect pregnancy journal by starting the second I learned we had a baby on order, I know that it's better late than never, so here we go. Another blog is born. Let's just hope I can remember to update it. Hope you enjoy these moments along with us.