Happy Halloween!

Ava is a lion this year for Halloween. One of her first animal sounds was a gigantic roar, and she has loved lions and tigers ever since. She isn't a fan of wearing the headpiece, but we were able to keep it on long enough to get a photo. This will be her first year Trick-or-Treating, and we're very excited to see how she does. Despite our efforts these past few weeks, she really doesn't say "Trick or Treat!" very well, but we think her overall adorable-ness will score her a few pieces of candy.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Homeward Bound

I'm going home! They're kicking me out... literally. The doctor said they needed to keep these rooms available for people who actually need them, and apparently, I don't need to be here. They did a good job of giving me the confidence I need to go home, so I feel better. Stefan is on his way and I should be home in a couple of hours. The bad news is that I won't be able to get my Ambien prescription filled until tomorrow, so I am nervous about a sleepless night ahead. Goodness, I sound like a junkie.

The Facts About the Fetal Fibronectin Test

The doctor explained to me why they are not too terribly concerned about my positive FFn test. If the test comes back negative, the chance of labor starting within two weeks is only 5%. If the test comes back positive, the chance of labor starting within two weeks is higher, but is still just 30%. Which means there is a 70% chance of still being pregnant in two weeks. Based on my ultrasound this morning, plus the fact that I still may have lingering effects of an infection that could make the test positive, the doctors assured me that a positive FFn test is really nothing to worry about... yet.

Tales From the Hospital

Note: To those who read our blog regularly, please note that in addition to being a way to share family news and events, I am also using this blog as a way to chronicle my bed rest and pregnancy. My apologies if all recent blogs have been emotional or "downers." I promise there will be better days ahead! In the meantime, I'm just trying to make sure I journal the reality of our world so that we always have a way of remembering this time.

Today has been a day of ups and downs. I had a great night's sleep (thanks to Ambien - that stuff rocks!), and my 8 a.m. ultrasound showed that my condition is improving. I was almost giddy with excitement until I got the results from my second Fetal Fibronectin (FFn) Test: still positive. My doctor almost expected another positive test and said he wasn't too concerned, but I was discouraged. The positive test says I'm still a high risk to deliver early. I had a difficult afternoon with cramps and irritability, and the most frustrating thing is that I don't know for sure what is causing all of this upset. Most likely, it is the massive load of antibiotics I have raging through my system right now, but we won't know for sure until next week, after treatment is completed. Until then, I'm baffled. The doctors agree that I am OK to go home, but am I OK to let me go home? Believe me, nothing would be better. But I am so scared. After all, I am still experiencing the same symptoms that brought me here for a second time Tuesday morning. Cramps. Mild contractions. Insomnia (without the aid of Ambien - did I mention that stuff rocks?). We live 40 minutes from the hospital. I know I can't spend the next 8+ (hopefully and prayerfully) in the hospital "just incase," but I can't help but feel very insecure about going home.

Little Notes

Baby Boy has been very active today, doing rolls and somersaults. I wish that I could go back to simply enjoying them instead of stressing so much about everything else.

The USA Today Crossword Puzzle is not easy. The Sudoku isn't exactly a cupcake, either.

Hospital grilled cheese isn't half bad. I'm not saying it's good, but it's not bad.

Daytime TV is beyond awful.

Ambien rocks.

The Hospital: Home Sweet Home, for A While

Ahhhhh, a computer. Haven't seen one of these in a few days. Email. Internet. A connection to the outside world. Wa-hoo!

I have been in and out of the hospital since Saturday, and it looks like I am going to be here for a few more days. We came in about 11 p.m. Saturday night because I wasn't feeling well and had some cramps and contractions. I stayed for a couple of nights to receive IV fluids and a truckload of antibiotics for 2 infections. I went home Monday evening and had one of the worst nights of my life. I didn't sleep a wink, had horrible cramps and a few contractions. To add to the pain, I was also super stressed out about whether I was just sick or if I was in labor. By 7 a.m., I was almost convinced that labor had started, so Stefan brought me back to the hospital where they told me I wasn't (thank you, God!). The ensuing ultrasound also showed that baby boy is still nestled safely inside. So why am I still here? Mostly as a precaution because of my history of preterm labor. Additionally, the doctors think the cramps and contractions are a result of the lovely buffet of drugs I am currently taking for infections, to suppress contractions and to maintain the pregnancy. So they want to see if my condition improves after the antibiotics have run their course. So here I am. It's the best place for me to be, although I hate being here. I must admit I am an emotional train wreck right now. I mean, not only am I pregnant, but I am on hormone supplements AND away from my family. Come to think of it, I'm surprised I'm keeping it together as much as I am! I keep repeating my motto to myself: "This is temporary. This, too shall pass." And it will.

Stefan and my sister and her family have truly come to the rescue. Once we found out I was going to be in the hospital for a little while, we agreed that the most important thing was to provide as normal of a life as possible for Ava. She still goes to Bonnie's every morning, but Stefan picks her up every afternoon and they spend evenings at home. It is SO HARD being away from them, but again, it's temporary. This whole experience has given me newfound appreciation for America's troops. They spend months, or even years(!), away from their children and spouses. I don't know how they do it, but it must be damn near impossible.

On a lighter note, my sister did bring me a birthday cake this morning, along with a very special visitor: Ava! It was a wonderful surprise. I also got Sex & the City the movie on DVD, so I know what I am going to be doing tonight! Thanks to everyone who called, posted a note on my Facebook page, and sent an email. They really brightened my day!

To the Left, to the Left

I'm - or shall I say we're - entering day 3 of bed rest, and I'm beginning to wonder about my newfound life lying on my left side. It's best for me to lie on my left side because that allows for maximum blood flow to the baby. So with the exception of an occasional roll-over to give my left side a break, I'm here. Yesterday, I spent the day sorting through some of my recipe files, searching TV Guide online for shows to Ti-Vo because I don't know what's on TV these days. (If it's not college football, CNBC election coverage or Food Network, the TV is off.) I even tried to watch a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars, but I am so out of touch with Hollywood that I couldn't tell who was the celebrity and who was the professional dancer. So sad, I know. I'm also getting quite good at doing lots of things on my left side: typing; eating; drinking (this is more difficult than it seems!); and using my toes to grab extra pillows.

I know a lot of people may think this confinement to the sofa should be a welcome change to a busy mom, but for me, it's been incredibly difficult. This lifestyle is SO not Jackie. It kills me to see something on the floor and not be able to go pick it up. I hate not being able to cook, especially since Autumn is the time I get the urge to whip up batches of my homemade granola and loaves of my friend Mandy's pumpkin bread. But worst of all I know it's hard on my family. Ava has no clue what's going, only that each morning she goes to Aunt Bonnie's for the day and that these days mommy can't do much more than read her a story. I loathe being so dependent on others; it's just not my nature. It's hard to remember that this is temporary, and it's even harder to know if any of this is going to pay off in the end. I can only pray that it does. I know this whole bed rest concept will just take a little getting used to, but for now, I'm having a really tough time adjusting. It's just been a really long time since I've been alone and not responsible for caring for my daughter.

I've completed my steroid therapy to help develop the baby's lungs, but the steroids have been replaced with Terbutaline to suppress contractions. Today Stefan has stocked me with all 6 seasons of Sex & the City (my favorite), and all I will need to do is grab some lunch in a little while. I am really looking forward to the weekend because Ava and Stefan will be here all day!

Temporary Setback

It's been an eventful 24 hours in the Blum home. Stefan and I saw my pregnancy specialist today to further investigate the positive FFn test from yesterday, as well as look at our options for the remainder of the pregnancy. After another ultrasound, some additional complications were detected today that were not present a mere seven days ago. In light of this new information in addition to the positive FFn test, my specialist and regular OB met today and decided that prescribing strict bed rest is in our best interest for both my health and for the health of the baby. I am to remain in bed (or on the sofa) 24 hours a day, with the exception of showering, going to the bathroom and getting a bite to eat/drink. This is a slight downgrade from yesterday, but my doctors are confident that the progesterone is still working in my favor and that I can still hope for a closer-to-full-term pregnancy. Not all hope is lost, which is exactly why we are taking all the necessary precautions, and we are very grateful so much is being done now, as opposed to when it's too late.

In addition to the bed rest, I am also undergoing a two-day steroid therapy to, in my specialist's words, "stack the deck in the baby's favor." The steroids will develop the baby's lungs more quickly because they are the last major organs to develop. If Baby Boy does decide to make an early entrance, these steroids will ensure as much as possible has been done to give him the best start. Again, so very grateful for that!

Unfortunately, my original hope of keeping Ava home with me while I am on bed rest is no longer possible. I am so grateful to have my sister and her family a mere two miles away right now. Although she, too, is expecting a baby (a boy as well in March, for those who don't know), she has offered to watch Ava during the day to allow me to comply 100 percent with the doctor's orders. Bon, I don't know how I will ever repay you! Stefan has gotten quite proficient at Ava's dinner and bedtime routines, so I know she is in the best hands. I just have to remember that millions and millions of mommies take their babies to daycare everyday. We do what we need to do (thanks for this advice, Lisa), so I will just suck it up and remember that this is not permanent.

So while the reality of this seems slightly scary right now, there is also some good news that came out of today's appointment: I am not experiencing any significant contractions, so that shows labor is not impending and we can do everything we can to keep it at bay. Hooray! Also, the baby has been very active, which means he is doing well in my belly - we just have to get him to stay there! From this point, I will be seeing both doctors every week, and with hope, my condition may improve enough to allow me to get up and around every once in a while. Stefan and I are both keeping our spirits up because we know that a healthy baby is all that matters and this is temporary. We'll get through it, and hope to be stronger on the other side. But as always, prayers are appreciated!

P.S. Tracy, as much as I would LOVE to give our dog Annie "Rasta" hair as a bed rest boredom buster, I'm afraid we recently had to cut her hair very short to deal with the heat. But if this whole bed rest thing keeps up, I may have Rasta hair myself! :o)

Here We Go

Well, we managed to make it 27 weeks and three days before hearing those dreaded four words: "You're on bed rest." I'm not complaining necessarily, but it certainly does add an additional stress element to an already stress-packed pregnancy. We went for a routine doctor's appointment this morning, and my OB suggested the Fetal Fibronectin (FFn) test. This test is usually conducted when there is concern that a woman may go into preterm labor. Seeing how Ava was 8 weeks early, my entire pregnancy has been labeled as "high risk," and I've had doctors and specialists a plenty keeping a keen eye on me and the baby (for which we have been most grateful). I have been a prime candidate for just about every test known for pregnancy, and the FFn test is just one of them. The FFn test looks for a special protein that is present in the amniotic sac during pregnancy. If that protein is detected in the test, then there is a higher risk for preterm labor. My test this morning came back positive, which means the protein was detected and action needs to be taken now. Or rather, lack of action as it pertains to me. I was so glad the test was done this morning, but the results have left us totally confused. Every test and ultrasound up to this point has indicated a solid pregnancy with very little chance of a preterm delivery. Now today, there is some evidence that points to the contrary and I'm left wondering what to believe. The good news is that there are a lot of false-positives with the FFn test, so there's a chance that this is a false alarm. But with my history, we can't afford the risk of assuming it is.

So I have an appointment with my specialist tomorrow morning for another ultrasound, and I go back to see my OB in a week. Between now and then, I am on modified bed rest and can't do much more than what is absolutely necessary to make it through the day. My biggest concern is Ava. She has gotten quite good at entertaining herself and I'm not worried about being able to care for her in the most basic sense. But I am afraid she will get bored at home and begin to resent me because I am unable to play with her the way she is used to me playing with her. I don't want her to feel any less loved because I am horizontal on the sofa all day. I just have to keep reminding myself that "this, too, shall pass."

I have equipped myself with a notepad to jot down some ideas of what I can do to keep busy during these next couple of weeks. I plan to sort through my massive recipe file, shop for the baby online, scrapbook, and keep this blog updated. My fear is that I will begin to blog about stupid stuff, like the construction progress of the new house next door, or my plans to rearrange the spice rack once I am able to do things like that again. I'll try to refrain, but no promises.

Whatever the outcome, Stefan and I know that God is in control. He's got it covered, plain and simple. His will be done and we trust that 100 percent. And although we are praying for a full-term pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of it, we know we will be able to handle whatever He gives to us. Your prayers are appreciated as well!

"Nye-nye, beesh."

Every night since Ava was 6 months old and has had just two teeny front teeth, we have carried out a bedtime tooth-brushing routine. This routine includes brushing while I sing a silly song about "brushing them everyday to keep cavities away," rinsing our toothbrush under some running water, Ava shaking her brush vigorously and finally putting the toothbrush "to bed" on the sink's countertop. Stefan and I always say, "Night-night, brush," before leaving the bathroom and continuing on with other bedtime festivities. Well, during the past week or so, Ava has started saying night-night to her toothbrush as well, although her version is far more precious than ours. The other night, for the first time, Ava repeated our "Night-night, brush" with a soft, sweet, "Nye-nye, beesh!" And I don't know how, but Ava has somehow picked up on a slight southern drawl along with her words, so add a little twang to the "Nye-nye" and you pretty much have it down. It was one of those moments when I wanted to laugh, cry and eat her up all at the same time. She kept repeating it because she discovered she had just learned some new vocabulary, and we just loved it.