Our little man is three weeks old today. At his two-week checkup last week, he had grown to 5 pounds 12 ounces, but I'm willing to bet he is over 6 pounds by now. He hit a growth spurt and has been eating everything in sight ever since. Just when I think he couldn't possibly be hungry, he chugs another 2.5 ounces. I don't know where he's putting it! At least he's gotten his days and nights figured out. I do need to take him to an ear, nose and throat doctor this Friday because he did not pass his hearing test in his left ear. The right ear is fine, but the left ear just wouldn't take. The doctor thinks it is just because the probe they used was too big for his ear canal, but just be safe and sure, he needs to see the ENT.
After three weeks, I am quite frustrated with myself over my stress levels with Ian. When my counselor from the high-risk pregnancy support group I joined while on bed rest learned I had delivered Ian, she wrote to me a nice note of congratulations, and at the end of her note, she closed with, "Enjoy him." Enjoy him. Right. I almost forgot. Between worrying about his hearing, eating, pooping, sleeping and everything else, I have completely forgotten to enjoy this time. Yes, it's stressful, but it's also wonderful, and it's a time I will never, ever experience again. Ian is our last, and before I know it, he will be too big to cuddle in the crook of my arm, and that intoxicating newborn smell will be gone forever. Stefan and I have heard nothing but "Congratulations!", but I have forgotten that this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. Dammit I hate myself for being such a worrier. He's here. He's healthy. That's all I wanted. And now the worry has shifted. I guess that's why I'm a mother. So I am trying to enjoy him more. This morning I put him on the floor for some tummy time and I lay down in front of him. He tried to lift his head slightly but got tired after about 5 minutes. I cuddled with him longer than usual after his feedings this morning, and I had Ava help me dangle a toy in front of his face. I am trying to enjoy the peaceful moments of his middle-of-the-night feedings, even though I am exhausted. Because once they're gone, they're gone forever.
2 comments:
Oh. So. So. So. Cute!
I can really relate to you on the business and tasking rather than the quiet enjoyment time. We are "doers", and once stuff is completed, then we allow ourselves to enjoy. Try to reverse that and remind yourself that the spaces between the lines on your "to do list" are for enjoyment breaks.
Oh and enjoy him for us, too! I can imagine he must smell delicious!
I definitely found myself getting wrapped up in doing things first and then settling down with Landon second after he was born. Then I realized that he was my last so I started snuggling and playing more and left the other stuff for later. I am glad that I did because you are right we won't get this time back. Now Landon is up and running and I long for those quiet moments when I could just snuggle and let the world go by.
Have fun, snuggle lots and just enjoy him.
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