Monday, July 13, 2009

The Monotony of Motherhood

I know it's been forever since I've posted. And to be honest, it's not from a lack of fodder. Believe me, there is enough going on at my house to publish 50 posts. It's the author who's the problem. Me. And my apologies to those who read regularly with the hope of finding a new cute picture of the kids or a new recipe (oh yeah, the recipe thing. Hmm, gotta get back on that.). I have just been exhausted and lazy recently. I have thought to myself a million times, "You know, I should blog about this cute thing Ian is doing right now." But then the thought of sitting down at the computer and actually typing the post turns me off. I'm just flat-out exhausted, and there's really no excuse. Well, actually, I do have an excuse, I'm just not sure how viable it is.

I remember getting this way when Ava was Ian's age (6 months). It's more of a mental exhaustion than a physical exhaustion. It's the tiredness felt from doing the exact same thing, day-in and day-out, as a result of having your children on a schedule. Wake up. Feed. Play. Feed. Nap. Feed. Play. Feed. Bath. Feed. Bed. Repeat. Whether it's a Tuesday or a Saturday, my days are identical from beginning to end, and after so long, I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. I AM Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. I love my job - it's the best one in the world - but it's about now I start realizing the importance of Mommy Solitude. When Ava was 6 months old, Stefan instituted "Mommy's Night Out," and one night a week, from 5 p.m. until whenever I wanted, I was Jackie, not mommy. I left the house and did whatever I wanted. Met friends for dinner or coffee. Ran errands. Shopped. Went to Barnes and Noble and read with Starbucks in hand. Drive around with MY music on at absolutely ridiculous volume levels. Whatever. It was me time, and it broke up the monotony of the week. Stefan asked me last week if it was time to reinstate "Mommy's Night Out," and while it was tempting to say yes, I said no, because I know that if I desperately need time away, I'll take it. Stefan is awesome like that - he will take the kids for a night if I need him to, without question. He never holds it over my head or makes me feel guilty about it. He actually encourages me to do it. Because he knows I'm better for it: a better mom, a better wife and a more balanced person. This Wednesday I am taking my very dear friend Mandy out for her birthday, and I am SO looking forward to it.

Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks. I hope to be posting regularly again soon!


Ian getting some kisses from Annie.

July Fourth - Ava & Ian.

July Fourth - Ian and Dad.

July Fourth - Ava dancing to the music. She has this quirky little dance she does - picture Elaine from Seinfeld and you have the gist. It's just adorable, and she LOVES to dance!

July Fourth - Ava sliding out of the bouncy thing.

July Fourth - Ava: contemplative and beautiful.

3 comments:

Liz said...

I'm so glad you posted again. I think every mommy feels the same way- every day is the same, yet with new challenges. I'm glad your getting out and having some fun. It does make you a better mom and wife (especially if you can have a glass of wine before you come home :)) Your kids are beautiful and I know just from reading your posts what a wonderful hands on mom you are-

sarah b. said...

Aw, I love reading everything you post! The kids are absolutely adorable, growing widly, and getting cuter everyday! Love and Miss you!

tracy said...

I so remember the routine... and the need to have a breather. It goes by so fast, though, and in just a couple months, Ava will be in preschool, so it will open up some additional time windows.

Oh, Ava is so lovely, and I will pay money to see her dance... add a video snipet of it sometime!

Ian is really getting big and looks so much like you both - so cute!